so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
