don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
