As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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