I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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