Do you still have your period?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
