By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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