$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
