i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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