Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
