i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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