Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
