Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
