Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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