You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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