my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
