I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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