We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
