I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
