Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
