singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
