If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he fucked my hip out of place.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
