It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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