I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think i got beer on your cat.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
