i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
