Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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