Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
