Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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