There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
