just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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