its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
