I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
