Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
smell my finger.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
