oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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