Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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