ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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