Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize