Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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