Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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