I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
