He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
