lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
