You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
