Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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