don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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