i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
