God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
being pregnant is like rehab
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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