fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
