Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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