love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize