they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
