I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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