I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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