I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
