This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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