fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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