i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This is classic penis vs brain.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
