the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
