you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
