I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
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