This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
