erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
