Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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(727): View more from Florida

I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

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(305): View more from Florida

The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.

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