I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
