you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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