I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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